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The Goofuses and Gallants - a Comedic Skit
by:
Sue Frelick
Bridgewater Ward, Halifax Stake, Nova Scotia, Canada
Narrator: Good evening, sisters. I’m so glad that you are in love with your
spouse. If you weren’t you wouldn’t be here tonight. I’ve called this class
“Dare to Live Happily Ever After” because of the unique potential we, as members
of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, have. Through the power of
the Holy Priesthood we are able to be sealed to our husbands for all eternity.
What a monumental gift!
Some may say after years of marriage, “We can’t get along NOW, how are we going
to spend an eternity together?” The General Authorities of the church have put
in place something that if we do it weekly we are told will help us achieve,
with our spouse, both happiness here in mortality and onward for eternity. This
something is DATE NIGHT.
These good natured, Young Single Adults have kindly agreed to entertain us this
evening with 3 very short skits. Each skit involves 2 married couples; the
Goofus couple and Mr. and Mrs. Galant.
As each person on this earth has an individual and distinct personality, so do
marriages evolve and develop distinct personalities.
It’s Friday evening. Let’s eavesdrop on the homes of these 2 couples and see
what personalities emerge. Watch to see how much a spouse's attitude can affect
the relationship.
First, we will visit the living room of Mr. and Mrs. Goofus where Mrs. Goofus is
engrossed in her computer game.
Scene 1: Friday Evening
Act 1: In the Goofus’ living room there is a computer desk and an arm chair with
a TV remote on the arm. Mrs. Goofus is sitting at her computer playing computer
games with her back to the arm chair. Enter Mr. Goofus eating popcorn. He stands
behind Mrs. Goofus munching and staring at the screen.
Mrs. Goofus (not taking her eyes off the computer monitor): “Do you mind?!”
(She brushes popcorn off her shoulder and goes back to her game.)
Mr. Goofus: “It’s Friday night. Wanna do somethin’?”
Mrs. Goofus (still staring at the monitor sounding annoyed): “Like what? There’s
only $5 left from your pitiful pay. What can you do on five bucks? Besides, I
have nothing clean to wear.”
Mr. Goofus: “I dunno. Nothin’ I guess.”
(With his head hanging, he shuffles to the chair, flops himself into it and
grabs the TV remote. Points and clicks.) The Goofuses freeze motion while the
audience’s attention moves to the Gallants.
Narrator: We’ll now go to the home of Mr. and Mrs. Gallant. Mrs. Gallant is
reading information on family preparedness.
Act 2: (In the Gallant’s living room; similar set up to the Goofus’. Mrs.
Gallant is sitting in a chair reading information on family preparedness. Enter
Mr. Gallant with 2 small bowls of popcorn. He bends over Mrs. Gallant and pecks
her on the cheek.)
Mr. Gallant: “I brought you something.” (He hands one of the bowls to Mrs.
Gallant.)
Mrs. Gallant (closes her book, and turns to face Mr. Gallant, takes the treat
bowl, and gives Mr. Gallant her full attention.) “Thanks Honey!”
Mr. Gallant: “It’s Friday night. Do you have anything planned?”
Mrs. Gallant: “Well ... I did manage to save five dollars from the budget for
Date Night.”
Mr. Gallant: “Five dollars, eh? What did you have in mind?”
Mrs. Gallant: “How about we take a walk to that little café on Main Street for
an herbal tea? We could share a piece of blueberry pie (she says with a little
taunting).”
Mr. Gallant: ‘A la mode?’
Mrs. Gallant: ‘Sure why not?’
Scene 2: Ready for a Night on the Town
Narrator: Having decided to go out for Date Night our couples are now getting
ready. How are Mr. and Mrs. Goofus doing?
Act 1: (Mr. Goofus is waiting impatiently, arms crossed tapping foot. He is
wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. Mrs. Goofus enters.)
Mrs. Goofus: “You aren’t going dressed like that, are you?”
Mr. Goofus: “Why not? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
Mrs. Goofus: “Oh, never mind.” (Mrs. Goofus turns around to show Mr. Goofus her
outfit) “What do you think, Goofus? Does this make me look fat?”
Mr. Goofus (Shows mocked surprise to the audience): “Honk! Honk! Cattle
crossing!!”
(While Mr. Goofus laughs himself silly at his own joke Mrs. Goofus grabs him by
the arm and pushes him into the arm chair. She crosses her arms, “Humph!”, and
glares down at him. They freeze motion while the audience’s attention turns to
the Gallants.)
Narrator: Hmm ... not doing too well Mr. Goofus! It’s time to look in on the
Gallants.
Act 2: (Mr. Gallant is sitting in his arm chair quietly reading his scriptures.
Mrs. Gallant’s shawl is draped across the arm of the chair. Enter Mrs. Gallant.)
Mrs. Gallant: “I’m ready, now! What do you think?”
Mr. Gallant: “Honey, you look terrific! Just like the girl I fell in love with,
only prettier.”
Mrs. Gallant (blushingly in Southern belle drawl): “Why Mistah Gallant, Sah! I
do believe you are toyin’ with lil’ ol’ me.”
(Mr. Gallant wraps Mrs. Gallant’s shawl around her shoulder. He holds out his
crooked arm for her to take. They leave the scene smiling at each other arm in
arm.)
Narrator: Well, our couples have made it out of their homes and are going to the
same café! What a coincidence. Will Mr. Goofus learn anything about how to
properly treat his wife? Let’s watch and find out.
Scene 3: At the Café
(2 tables stand side by side each set with tea service for 2, napkins and a
bouquet of flowers. On the Gallants’ table sits a sugar bowl at Mrs. Gallant’s
place, and a honey pot beside Mr. Gallant’s place. At the Goofus table the tea
pot is placed next to Mrs. Goofus.
The Gallants enter the restaurant ahead of the Goofuses. Mr. Goofus, recognizing
that Mr. Gallant knows how to treat a lady, watches his every move and tries to
copy him. (Think “Mr. Bean style”.)
Mr. Gallant removes Mrs. Gallant’s shawl and drapes it across the back of a
chair at their table.
Mr. Goofus tries to yank Mrs. Goofus’ coat off but her arms get stuck in the
sleeves. He tosses the coat to the floor.
Mr. Gallant pulls the chair out for Mrs. Gallant who gracefully seats herself.
After watching this, Mr. Goofus, while glancing over his shoulder pulls a chair
out for Mrs. Goofus without noticing that she is about to sit in it. She misses
the seat and lands on the floor. Mr. Goofus helps her into the chair. After
everyone is settled at the tables the dialogue begins.)
Mr. Gallant: “It was a great idea to come here tonight."
Mrs. Gallant: “Thanks!”
Mr. Gallant: "I love this place.”
(Mr. Gallant pours the tea. Mr. Goofus leans towards their table to try to
eavesdrop on their conversation.)
Mrs. Gallant (gesturing toward the honey pot): “Would you pass the honey,
Honey?”
Mr. Gallant passes the honey to his wife.
Mr. Gallant (gesturing toward the sugar bowl): “Would you pass the sugar,
Sugar?”
Mr. Goofus (turns away from eavesdropping on the Gallants and leans towards Mrs.
Goofus): “Pass the tea, Bag!”
Narrator (After the laughter dies down): Well, I guess Mr. and Mrs. Goofus have
a lot to learn yet about cultivating a positive attitude.
(Thank actors and dismiss them.)
What about us sisters? How do we measure up? Are we dateable like the Gallants
or do we more closely resemble the Goofuses?
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